


On the Balcony (or: Mistletoe Kisses with Some of your Favorite Star Wars: The Force Awakens Characters)

by kittensmctavish



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Coma, F/F, F/M, Firefly References, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Holidays, Hugging, I am Kylo Ren trash, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, OOC, Other, Platonic Kissing, possible ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:16:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8835325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittensmctavish/pseuds/kittensmctavish
Summary: At a holiday party Maz Kanata is throwing, she sends you out to the balcony. Because someone might be out there alone, and no one should be alone during the holidays.
Different outcomes for different characters. Some gen, some familial, some platonic, some romantic. All involving mistletoe and kisses.
Featuring Finn, Phasma, Hux, Leia, Poe, Rey, and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo.





	1. Intro Chapter (Maz Kanata and BB-8)

**Author's Note:**

> So this thing wormed its way into my head while I'm trying to finish my "I am Kylo Ren trash" fic, and the idea would not leave. It is the mistletoe, and my head is the tree it has become the parasite of. 
> 
> So I'ma get this parasite-y fic out chapter by chapter.
> 
> Basically, the first chapter will act as an intro to all the other chapters. Each chapter afterwards will be an immediate following to the first chapter. None of those chapters will exist in the same universe. They will all be their own different thing.
> 
> (It's sort of like those "Seven Minutes in Heaven" stories, where there's a chapter where someone suggests the game, and the next chapters are "you get stuck in the closet with THIS character". Or whatever.)
> 
> Also, I am garbage at writing these characters, which is why I tagged this as OOC. I will need your help letting me know how garbage I am at writing them.
> 
> Also also, please enjoy the Christmas fluff. Happy Merry. :)

Half an hour into the party, and you were still looking around the space. It seemed unrecognizable from what it usually was.

Evergreen. Everywhere. Towering trees, wreaths, garlands twinkling with lights, sprigs of holly dotted with little red berries…

“Ah! There you are, my darling!”

You turned and smiled at the voice of the mastermind behind the festoonery.

“Miz Maz Kanata,” you greeted.

“Just Maz, my darling,” the small orange alien scolded teasingly as she took your hand. “Long past the need for Miz.”

“Whatever you say, Miz Maz.” She shook her head.

“I was wondering if you’d arrived.”

“Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t try to look for you before but…” You gestured around the room. “ It’s all…incredible to take in. You’re a miracle worker, Maz.”

“Eh…” She shrugged the compliment off. “You run a bar for a hundred years, you’re bound to pick up some tricks.”

And it wasn’t just the decorations. You hadn’t gotten to them yet, but there were long tables with plates of food and drink that, no matter how many people walked up, never seemed to run out of their offerings. And despite the huge number of people gathered in the space, there was still enough of a clearing for people to dance as Elemmem (one of Maz’z regular performers at her tavern) played a variety of holiday music known through the galaxy.

“I can’t believe how many people are here,” you said, more of an observation to yourself than a comment to Maz.

“They all need it.”

You looked down at Maz at her comment, smiling sadly. 

The First Order. The Resistance. So much fighting…so many lives lost…

You nodded.

Because they all probably did…to forget for a few hours, to drown sorrows in drink…

“Then again, it IS the holiday season,” Maz said. “Could just be they all just wanted an excuse to wear their tacky sweaters.”

“True,” you said, not making the moment heavier than it could have been. “I knew I should have gone for the tacky sweater route.”

“You look lovely, my darling,” Maz said, adjusting her goggles to better look at your attire. You looked down at your own dress, shifting in the dark red dress, smoothing it out with your hands.

“Thanks, Maz…” you said, worrying once more about the hem. Yes, you wore black tights, but still…did it show too much leg?

Any further conversation you could have had (or protestation about your dress you could have made) was interrupted by a small droid rolling into your legs, chirping quickly at Maz.

“BB-8!” Maz scolded. “Please watch yourself!”

BB continued to chirp, something clutched in its pincer. You reached down for BB-8 to drop a small sprig of a plant into your hands. A sprig of green leaves and white berries.

“Maz? Mistletoe? Really?” 

“It is a tradition,” she huffed at you, then looked at BB-8. “Both of you.”

BB-8 beeped again.

“It’s only poisonous if the berries are eaten,” you explained to the droid. “And you don’t eat mistletoe at holiday season.” You looked at Maz for a split second. “Methinks Miz Maz here is trying to play matchmaker for some of her guests.”

“You wound me, my darling,” Maz said, though the small all-too-knowing smile that graced her lips suggested otherwise.

“Point is, BB-8, no need to worry about the mistletoe,” you said, smiling at the droid. “It’s just part of Maz’s decorations. No one’s in danger.”

A loud roar echoed through the room, followed by some laughter.

“Miz Maz, methinks your boyfriend is having a bit too much fun.”

“Oh, that Wookiee…” Maz sighed. “I will go settle things. BB-8, would you join me?” BB-8 chirped. “Then come along.” She paused. “My darling, would you be a dear and go out to the balcony?” You raised your eyebrows in questioning. “There may be someone out there by themselves, and no one should be alone during the holidays.”

You didn’t even have time to ask Maz for further elaboration before she and BB-8 were off. You shook her head.

Maz was the master of being subtle and not subtle at the same time. There absolutely WAS someone on the balcony by themselves, even if Maz hadn’t been anywhere NEAR the balcony at any point during the party.

It wasn’t the Force. Maz just “knew things”.

You almost didn’t want to go out there, just to spite her. 

But…

…”damn, you Miz Maz.” She was right. No one deserved to be alone at the holidays.

So smoothing out your dress again, you rifled your way through the crowds and the dancing and the festivities towards the open door of the balcony.

You didn’t notice that the sprig of mistletoe was still clutched in your hand.


	2. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Finn is on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the idea for this one is Reader and Finn used to be stormtroopers together. I dunno. It seemed like a neat fledgling idea.
> 
> Also, I didn't see Star The Force Awakens Wars right as it came out. But I heard of the Stormpilot ship. And then I watched the film. And I got it. (Dat lip bite though, Oscar Isaac, when you tell John Boyega your jacket suits him...DAT. LIP. BITE.)

You opened the door to the balcony quietly and stepped out.

“Hello?” you called.

“Hello?”

You pushed the door open more and stepped down on to the stone platform of the balcony, closing the door behind you. In the corner, dressed in black (and a smart-looking jacket) was…

“FN-2187?” you asked.

“Huh?”

“FN-2187,” you said, stepping closer to him, smiling at the recognition in the dim overhead lighting of the balcony. “You go by…something else now, I know, but…”

“Finn,” he said. Not unkindly. He seemed to begin to recognize you, too, because now there was a smile gracing his face, and growing wider as he spoke. “FN-7189?”

“Yeah,” you said, smiling wider, giving him your name. You rushed over and almost leapt into his open arms for a hug. He not only caught you. He picked you up and twirled you around, the both of you laughing as he did. “Oh, it’s so good to see you again!” He pulled away to take in the sight of you.

“Yeah, I missed…”

He paused, his smile fading a bit.

“Well…not where we were but…”

“I didn’t miss it either, once I got away.” You felt your own smile fade…momentarily, before putting it on again for him. “You were the smartest, in that regard. First one to leave.”

“Sure I wasn’t the stupidest?” Finn asked. “First one to try and make a break for it?”

“Nah, you would’ve been the stupidest if you HADN’T gotten away,” you reasoned. 

“Good point.” Finn looked off, as if in thought. “Phasma probably would’ve thrown ME into a trash compactor.”

“…you threw Captain Phasma into a trash compactor?” you half-asked, half-stated.

“Well, I had help.” He was so casual about it.

“That certainly explained…well…” You looked down.

“…what?”

“Well…she was…not the kindest to the remaining troopers in the aftermath of Starkiller Base.” Finn’s face fell. You looked up, quickly putting a new smile on.

“But anyway…it’s really great to see you again, Finn.” You reached up to hug him again.

“It’s great to see you, too…I missed you,” he said into your ear.

“I missed you, too.” After a moment, you lightly smacked him upside the head. “You jerk! Why didn’t you try to take me with you?”

“Well, I didn’t know at that point I was gonna run, did I?” Finn said, rubbing the back of his head as he pulled away. “Spur of the moment, you know?”

“Still…you were…like, my family, you know? Sanitation to stormtrooper to…”

“Saving the universe?” Finn offered.

“Yep.” You looked down. “Took me a…little longer to get on the right side but…”

“Hey…” Finn nudged you below your chin to make you look up at him. “Not mad at you. Just…surprised. To see you again.”

“In a good way, I hope.”

“Definitely, in a good way.” He quickly glanced up and down. “The lack of uniform suits you.”

“Same to you, especially this jacket,” you said, fingering the lapel of said jacket. “This is a really nice jacket.”

“Thanks…it’s not actually mine.”

“And you’re still saying ‘thanks’?”

“Well, it’s my boyfriend’s.” Finn shrugged. “So a thanks from me is a thanks from him.”

“When were you gonna tell me you had a boyfriend?” you said, reaching out to punch him in the shoulder.

“Okay, I didn’t even know you were still alive until literally five minutes ago,” Finn said, holding his hands up to defend himself. “And second, should that have been the very first thing I told you?”

“Well…no, you’re right, but…” For lack of anything else to say, you hugged Finn again. “I missed talking to you about everything. I wanna know everything about him. And then I wanna meet him, to give him the threatening family member speech.”

“Really?”

“You’re my family, you jerk,” you said, reaching up to cup his face. “Sanitation to stormtrooper to saving the universe to sexy boyfriend.” Finn rolled his eyes. “I mean, I’m assuming he’s sexy.”

Finn shrugged again before reluctantly nodding his head, acquiescing to your assumption.

“Okay. Theeeeen…” You remembered what’d been clutched in your hand this entire time. “After giving him the threatening family member speech, I’m gonna give him this and tell him he’d better put it to good use with you.” Finn rolled his eyes again. “Actually, why aren’t you in there with your sexy boyfriend?”

“Sexy boyfriend has a name, you know,” Finn said. “His name is Poe. And I’m killing time out here because he’s running a little late getting here.”

“…wait, Poe, as in…that one pilot we got from Jakku shortly before you…?” Your arms dropped. “He helped you escape, didn’t he?”

“Well…I helped him, too—it was a mutual thing,” Finn said. “He…gave me my name, you know. He was all ‘a number is a mouthful, I’m gonna call you Finn’.”

“So…he gave you your name and your jacket…” You held the mistletoe up again. “And now he’s gonna give you mistletoe kisses.”

“Fine, but first…”

Finn snatched the mistletoe out of your hand and held it over both of your heads. He then leaned in and kissed your cheek.

“Okay. Let’s go find my sexy boyfriend, so I can introduce him to my awesome family.”

With that, Finn wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you leant your head against his shoulder, and the two of you walked in linked like that, smiles renewed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


	3. Phasma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Phasma is who you meet on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blarg. I don't know. I get the feeling that, like Gwendoline Christie's other amazing well-known character - Brienne of Tarth - Phasma is more comfortable in armor than in a dress. So I went for that angle. And like with Finn, Reader in this chapter is a former stormtrooper who was under Phasma's command.
> 
> I'm note entirely happy with it, and I know it's really OOC, but...'shrugs'

You opened the door to the balcony and stepped out.

At first, you didn’t see anyone. But hiding in the darkest nook was a figure. Turned away from you, from what you could tell in the darkness, and unaware that you’d joined them.

“Hello?”

The person turned quickly, then stood.

Your breath caught for a moment as the figure stepped into the dim light. Statuesque, Blonde. Rosy tint to cheeks and lips. Long black dress that was…modestly alluring, as contradictory as that sounded (not skintight, but clingy in all the right places, not falling out of her dress, but the cut was just low enough…)

“Hello.”

You’d said it again. Less of a “who’s there” hello, more of an authentic hello.

“Hello.”

Her voice low, in pitch and in volume. Trembly. Lovely.

You smiled, hoping to see a smile grace her lips in return. She glanced down, as though suddenly shy. But her eyes met yours again, and your hope was fulfilled. A lovely, shy smile.

You stepped forward, saying your name, sticking your hand out to shake hers. She looked down at it, eyes puzzled, her smile…faltering, but also seeming to mask what would have been sudden laughter. You scrunched your nose and looked down at your hand.

“Oh,” you said, pulling back the hand which had still been holding the mistletoe. “Um…that isn’t a, um…some of the…decorations fell and…I’m no—”

“It’s all right,” she said, mild laughter in her voice. “I believe you.” She was full-on smiling now, and if you thought this woman couldn’t take your breath away more than she was.

“Anyway,” you said, placing the mistletoe on the edge of the balcony. “Shall we try that again?”

“Of course.” She offered you her hand this time. “Phasma.”

You froze.

“Captain!”

Instinctively, your spine straightened into salute posture.

And as soon as your heart had leapt up to your throat, it dropped into your stomach as her face fell. Not into…sternness though…it just fell.

“I’m so sorry, Captain, I didn’t—I never—”

“Recognized me?”

Her tone was…not stern. Tough. Anything that you’d remembered being in her troops.

Instead, she sounded…tired. Sad.

It was true. You HADN’T recognized her. Thinking about it now, from the little you’d heard, the voice modulation from her helmet hadn’t changed her speaking voice THAT much. Or maybe it was just…nothing you’d expected to hear from your captain in these few minutes on the balcony. Either way, no, the voice hadn’t registered.

And in regards to appearance, you’d never seen her out of uniform, or without her helmet. Even after…

“I take it you were one of mine,” Phasma said with a withering tone.

“FN-7189,” you stated, as though identifying yourself to one of the higher-ups.

“At ease,” Phasma said with a mirthless laugh. “In case you weren’t aware, The First Order is no more, and I’m no longer your captain.”

“But…”

“Wait…7189…” Phasma looked down, and you watched her face fall slack. “You’re the one who—”

“Pulled you from the trash compactor back at Starkiller Base, yes,” you said. Your back was still stiff, your hands clasped behind the small of it. You nodded once. She looked at you again.

“I thought you’d…we got separated in the…”

As Starkiller Base was crumbling, you and the Captain had become separated in the struggle for everyone to flee. And your paths had never quite crossed again in the panic.

“I never thanked you,” she said. “For…that.”

“It’s what anyone would have done for their captain.”

“That’s a lie and you know it. Everyone was looking out for themselves when things…and the base…went up in smoke.”

“Well…you’re my captain.”

“Was.”

“…still were to me, even if you weren’t physically there.”

You weren’t sure exactly why you were telling her all this, but it felt necessary.

“I just always asked myself…’would Captain Phasma be proud of me?’…with any course of action I took after Starkiller Base.”

And on Starkiller Base, of course. Stupid, you thought, each time. There was no way you’d ever been exemplary enough to warrant Phasma’s praise or attention.

“Anyway… point is…I admired and respected you, and I still do. You will, to me, always be my captain.” You looked down at your feet. “And I do apologize for not recognizing you.”

“Well…” She sounded as awkward as you felt. “Understandable. I probably look a right fool.”

You looked up at her again.

“Captain?”

“Phasma, please, just…Phasma.” SHE was looking at HER feet. “I feel awkward enough in this damned thing.” She was tugging and fiddling at her dress much as you had been earlier with your own dress.

“You look…nice,” you said. wincing. “More than nice, you look…lovely.” Phasma shook her head.

“Oh, please.”

“And I’m not just saying that because you’re my captain,” you insisted. “It was what I first thought when I came across you on this balcony.” Phasma looked like she was trying not to smile. You walked over to the edge of the balcony where you’d placed the mistletoe, and you picked it back up. “Especially when I accidentally almost gave you this when I meant to shake your hand, and you smiled the most…beautiful smile I’ve ever seen on anyone.” Phasma was staring at the mistletoe in your hand.

“Oh, please,” she repeated, though it didn’t feel as strong this time.

“If anything, I’m the one who should more awkward, because I was your subordinate. I was just a number. And you seeing me without my uniform or helmet was grounds for—”

“You are, too,” she said suddenly. “You…look nice, that is.” Your hand dropped, though the mistletoe remained. “I mean, it’s…what I thought when I noticed someone else had walked out here and I turned and I saw you. That you…were lovely. And…why did someone so lovely want to talk to someone like…?”

“…someone just as lovely?”

“Oh, stop.”

“Never, my captain. I’m getting you to smile again.”

She was smiling. And her eyes were shining.

“You are entirely too sweet…I never imagined one of my best soldiers was capable of being so sweet.”

“…well…”

What do you say to something like that?

“…do you want to …go inside…maybe talk to some people?” Phasma stood, covering her face for a moment before lowering her hands and smiling at you. A smaller smile.

“I think I’m going to take my leave,” she said. “But…thank you. You’ve cheered me up considerably.”

“…you still don’t believe me.”

“I do not.”

She bent down, and picked up your hand. The one that was holding the mistletoe. She turned over your wrist and kissed the inside of it, where your veins peeped through.

“But thank you. For…everything.”

She was gone before you could say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


	4. Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Hux is on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I think I went so OOC on this one, I don't know. It's also floofy and cheesy as hell.

You opened the door to the balcony and instantly saw someone standing out there.

Hands folded behind his back. Spine ramrod straight. Poised as though addressing a great audience, not observing a lovely winter’s night.

“General?”

The black-clad figure barely moved. A slight movement in the head to indicate that he’d heard you, but no other sign.

“Incorrect.”

You stepped closer to the man.

“I’m…not,” you said hesitantly. “You’re General Hux, no?” You were close enough now – standing next to him, in fact – and watched his lips twitch into a smile that wasn’t a smile.

“Yes and no,” he said, not looking at you. “Hux, yes. General. no.” His eyes darted over to you for a split second. “Not anymore, remember?”

It was technically true. With the disbanding of the First Order, he’d been stripped of his rank.

“So…pardon me, sir, but what am I to call you then?” you asked. He turned his head to look at you. His eyes widened a bit in recognition, and his posture seemed to relax ever so slightly.

“Officer,” he said, not unkindly.

“I should call you ‘Officer Hux’?” You froze at what you’d said, looking away. “Forgive my impertinence, sir.”

A short silence passed. Tense. Slightly uncomfortable. Not fearful.

“Not what I meant, though you seem to have understood that perfectly,” Hux finally said, a tinge of amusement in his voice. “I simply recognized you as one of my officers. …well…one of my former officers. …and there is nothing to forgive.” You looked up at him. “I rather like your impertinence.”

There was a cross between a smirk and a smile on his lips. It wasn’t mocking…and could almost be mistaken for genuine, if you didn’t know any better.

“Still…I will try not to be too impertinent, sir,” you said.

“Still so formal?”

“Well, you have not answered my question. If you are no longer ‘General Hux’, what should I call you?” you asked once more. “Mister Hux sounds like I should be addressing your father. I can’t call you just Hux, because that’s too informal, and you clearly won’t accept being called ‘sir’.”

“You could always call me by my given name,” Hux suggested.

“…really?”

“Yes. Why? You sound so surprised. I DO have a first name, you know.”

“It’s just…” You stopped yourself.

“Just what?” he asked.

“Even though you’re technically not anymore, in my head, you’re still my general, and I’m still…just an officer. It feels inappropriate to call you by your first name.”

“Because you fear me that much.” It was a statement, rather than a question…and it was said with a sadness, it seemed. “Just as well. Most everyone does. …it’s why I had to step out here…shouldn’t have even come.”

Your heart clenched.

“I do not fear you, sir,” you said, willing yourself not to reach out to him. “I have…the highest respect for you.”

“Respect” wasn’t the only correct word. In all the time you’d served under him, you’d admired him, looked up to him, hell, even harbored feelings that officers probably shouldn’t harbor for their generals. Even after the dissolution of the First Order, even after your paths had parted, all those feelings had not diminished.

All this ran through your head as Hux just…stared at you. His face seemed hard to read, as though he didn’t quite believe you. As though you were a puzzle he was trying to work out. You prayed that your train of thought – your feelings – weren’t evident on your face. At the very least, you weren’t blushing, no telltale heat to your cheeks.

“Well…” he finally said. Good or bad, you couldn’t tell. Until he spoke again. “You have my permission to use my given name. No more of this ‘sir’ or ‘general’ nonsense.” It seemed as though he wanted to smile but wasn’t allowing himself to. You nodded.

“And what is your given name?” you asked. He looked away for a moment, murmuring something under his breath. “Sir?”

“Armitage,” he said, a bit louder (but only barely). He still wasn’t looking at you. You leant your head down and tried to meet his eyes that way. His eyes darted away from yours, before pausing at your hand. “What is that?”

You looked down.

Oh.

“A droid took this down,” you said about the mistletoe. “Gave it to me. Said something about it being a danger to humans.” You lifted it higher, twirling the stem about in your hand.

“Well…droid has a point,” Hux said. “Not everyone likes to be kissed.” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“It meant the berries,” you said between giggles. You pointed to the small white berries nestled in the leaves. “They’re poisonous to humans if ingested. I’m certain the droid knew nothing about the kissing tradition…nor would I assume it would’ve an opinion on kissing one way or the other.”

“And what about you?”

You straightened, watching Hux’s eyes studying you intently.

“What ABOUT me?” you asked again, avoiding the subject. Hux looked down, as though steeling himself to say something that was hard to admit. And then he was looking at you again, his eyes shining. Not with tears, but with something you…either didn’t recognize or didn’t dare to hope for.

“You are…more than just an officer,” he finally said (admitted?). “Not just…in your profession, but…to me.” You held your breath. “Your competence at Starkiller Base surpassed those of your fellow officers immensely, and that…only that, at first…made you a joy to work with.”

“Only that?”

“At first,” he reminded you. He opened his mouth again, as though to continue, but paused. He looked down and cursed to himself. “I’m no good at this, at…these kinds of speeches.”

“You’re doing fine,” you encouraged, the slightest tremble to your voice because maybe you could dare to hope…

“When Starkiller Base was under attack…when it was reduced to nothing…I could not leave without absolute knowledge that you were safe. That you had lived.”

You dared to hope.

The base had been chaos. You’d stayed at your station, as calm as you were able to keep yourself, doing your duties. And General Hux had stormed up to you, demanding you follow him. There’d been an almost imperceptible tremor in his voice, but you didn’t question him – just followed him to the shuttle he had waiting for you, himself, his cat, an injured Lord Kylo Ren, and…not many others…so you could leave the crumbling ice-covered planet before you lost your lives.

You remembered. And oh, how hope filled you…

“It was selfish of me,” he admitted. “Incredibly selfish. The base should have been my highest priority. I should have gone down with it. But—”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you said, unable to keep yourself from saying anything, the hope within you was making you almost giddy. “At my station that day…throughout this entire war…I did my duties, and I hoped…prayed every night…please, please let my general be safe and unharmed.” You raised your hand to stop him from interrupting. “And I know, I know…you may not be my general anymore…but in my head and in my heart, you are MY general. …whether you like it or not.”

When you saw the smile on Hux’s face (almost in spite of himself, it seemed), you couldn’t hold back your own smile.

“Well then…my impertinent little officer,” he said, reaching for the hand you’d held up, taking it in his own, holding it tight, possessively, “have you an answer for my question?”

“What question would that be, my general?” you asked, clutching his hand almost as tightly, making sure this was real, never wanting to let this go.

“What are your opinions on kissing…when it comes to that poisonous little plant?” he asked, taking the mistletoe from your other hand, reaching up to tuck it into your hair, run his fingers through the loose strands.

“I’m not opposed to it…if I know the given name of whom I’m kissing, and they know my name in return,” you said. Hux let out a little sound, halfway between a sigh and a laugh.

He gave you his name. Armitage.

“Please don’t laugh,” he said, scrunching his face up. “A ridiculous name, I know.”

“It is not,” you said. “Armitage.” The look in his eyes that followed…

“Not so ridiculous coming from you, my officer,” he said.

You gave him your name. He repeated it, almost treasuring each syllable as it rolled off his tongue.

“…may I do something impertinent, Armitage?” you asked. He nodded. You leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head just enough for your lips to graze the corner of his mouth.

“I can be impertinent, too,” he whispered against your lips before capturing them with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


	5. Leia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where you meet Leia on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading over my previous chapters, I've realized that the Phasma and Hux chapters are essentially pretty much the same. The reason for that is simple. I'm a fucking shitty writer.
> 
> Anystrudel, this chapter...started off with "first Christmas without Han" feels, ended up with me being Kylo Ren trash. Oops.

When you opened the door to the balcony, you were a bit taken aback to see (the former) General Leia looking over the edge of the balcony. At first. When she heard the sound of the door opening, she jumped away from it. 

"General?" you asked, watching her bring a hand up to her eyes. It looked as though she was wiping tears away with her sleeve. "Are you all right? Do you need anything?"

"Oh...hello dear," she said with a put-upon smile, lowering her hand and sleeve. "There's no need to call me General. Just Leia is fine." She'd told you as much so many times throughout your life, whether it be "Mrs. Organa" or "Mrs. Solo" or "General".

"Okay," you said, still unsure but returning her smile. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Fine, just...fine." You didn't believe her. From her grimace, she didn't believe herself. "I'm sorry, I had to get some air. The band...they're wonderful but...they started playing...and it reminded me too much of..."

She stopped, pressing her hands together and bringing them to her mouth, as though praying. Her eyes were clenched shut. 

You weren't sure exactly which song she meant. Any number of them. If you had to guess, either "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" or "I'll Be Home for Christmas". Two of the slower songs the band had played recently. And two of the sadder Christmas songs. 

Being together "someday soon...if the fates allow". Or being home if only in dreams. 

"I'm sorry," you said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. 

"It's fine, it's fine." It sounded anything but. "Not your fault. And...I didn't know I'd react like that."

"It's..." You paused. "We...don't have to talk about it if you don't want--"

"I want to," she said firmly but trembling. "It will help." She lowered her hands, but her eyes were still shut. "It's the first Christmas without him. It's going to be...an ordeal."

You reached out to hug the woman, tentatively. After a few shaky moments, her arms were around you, clinging to you as though you were a life support of some kind. 

"Thank you," she whispered. 

"Well, any time you want to talk--"

"Not just for that," she said, pulling you away and cupping your face in her hands. "For...I never said it before and will probably never say it enough...but thank you for bringing my son back."

Ben. Ben Solo. The husk of Kylo Ren. 

You felt yourself sway a bit. Looked into her eyes, still shimmering with unshed tears. Tears sprang into your own eyes. 

"I didn't..." you stopped. "I didn't him back fully, he's still..."

His final battle with Snoke had been brutal. When you'd finally broken through with Rey and Finn and Poe, Ben had been doing poorly. By the time Snoke had finally been taken down, Ben was unconscious, severely injured, and (you thought) dying in your arms. 

Stay with us, you'd pleaded. Your mother needs you, Ben. Your uncle needs you. We need you, I need you, please, Ben...

"He still hasn't woken up," you finally said. "If I'd been quicker--"

"But he's still alive," Leia said. "He's breathing and alive and...he's here." You looked down, afraid you really would start crying. "And even before that...you'd never stopped believing in him..."

It had been true. In all your altercations with Kylo Ren, you'd done what you could to reach out to Ben Solo. To bring back the boy, the young man you'd grown up next to, the man you'd...always...

"It wasn't enough," you insisted, your voice breaking. "Not enough to get him back sooner. If I had, he wouldn't be lying in a bed right now, he'd be..."

"You don't know that," Leia said. "He was always going to face Snoke, no matter when he came back to the Light Side. You are..." Your face was in Leia's hands again. "You are the best person for him. Ever since you two were little...I've always believed that."

You shook your head, unable to look at her, because the tears were freely flowing down your face. 

"Leia, what if he never wakes up?" you sobbed. "What if I'm talking to him one day and..."

Because you had been. You'd visited him nearly every day since the defeat of Snoke. Talking to him for hours on end, holding his hand, falling asleep next to him, always always pleading, brushing your lips against his knuckles, his forehead...

"He will wake up," Leia said, brushing your tears away with his thumb. "If I know my son...how he was...how he is...you will bring him back. He will come back."

To the Light Side. To consciousness. To her. To you. 

"You know...when he was little, every holiday season, he'd always talk about how much he loved caroling with you. How pretty your voice was, how pretty you were in your caroling getup..." Leia chuckled a bit at the memory. "Han teased him so much about it..." She glanced down at your hands, took the sprig of mistletoe you'd completely forgotten about. "One year, Han even went as far as to give Ben some of this. 'Put it to good use with your caroling sweetheart', he'd said."

You laughed through your tears. Those days...had been good. Caroling had always been a long-enjoyed pastime for your family and the Solo family. You and Ben, arms linked, Ben jokingly placing his top hat on your head, you swishing your cape around him, his baritone interweaving with your soprano...

"Maybe we should go sing some carols to him," Leia suggested. "Bring him some holiday spirit." You nodded. 

"I feel...kind of bad..." you admitted. "I came out here to comfort you and now you're comforting me..."

"Don't feel bad," Leia said, hugging you. "I've always thought of you as a daughter...and maybe one day..."

If Ben wakes up...if he still feels...

"Thank you, Leia."

She kissed your forehead. 

"You're welcome, my dear." She pulled away. "As the song goes...we'll have to muddle through somehow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


	6. Poe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where you meet Poe on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooohhhhhhhhhh I did not know what to do with this fucker. Hence why this chapter is even more subpar than the other ones. 
> 
> Anywhoozle, the kiss in this one...I remembered that Oscar Isaac played Joseph in "The Nativity Story" like ten years ago. And he played the sweetest most badass lovely Joseph ever, and there's this part when he kisses Mary's hand and his eyes are just so full of love...that inspired that partly. 
> 
> And then Firefly references. Because shut up.

When you stepped on to the balcony, you instantly saw Poe. And your heart momentarily stopped. 

You also tripped over your own feet and fell rather ungracefully to the floor, but mostly, the heart thing. 

Of course, Poe turned around at the intrusion. 

"Whoa. ...you all right?" he asked you. 

Oh, you know, embarrassed, mortified, possibly bruised, and internally freaking out, but otherwise, just dandy. 

...is what your internal monologue was. 

Out loud...well, you managed a small squeak of a sound. Better than nothing, you supposed. 

I mean, what exactly did you say to the best pilot in the Resistance, someone whose skills you held in such high regard, someone who didn't even know you'd--

Your train of thought was interrupted by a hand appearing in your line of vision. 

"Here," Poe said. You stared at his hand for a moment before taking it, gripping it tight as both your arms flexed to help you back to your feet. Without even looking at him, you looked down at your dress. Which sure enough, being as short as it was, had ridden up enough to make you feel even more uncomfortable. 

"I hate this dress," you muttered to yourself as you adjusted and tugged down at the hem. 

"I don't know, I think it suits you," Poe commented, reminding you that he was still there. You glanced up at him. He was smirking...but not in an insulting way. Though not leering or appreciative in a suggestive manner. You couldn't help but sneer. 

"You don't even...know me." You'd nearly said "remember" instead of "know". You hoped he hadn't noticed. 

"Well, then maybe we should remedy that," he said, sticking his hand out once more. "I'm Poe Dameron."

"Yes, I know."

You clamped your mouth shut before your foot could find its way in there because sweet merciful crap, you were an idiot. 

Poe, however, just looked amused. 

"Well...you're Poe Dameron," you said, trying not to say his name too reverently. "Who in the Resistance HASN'T heard of you?"

Was it just you, or did that natural, easygoing smile of his falter a bit?

"True enough," he sighed. "But anyway..." He shook his hand slightly, still poised to meet with yours. After a pause, you gave him your name and reached out to shake his hand. 

He repeated your name. And you half expected "a beautiful name for a beautiful person" to come tumbling out of this mouth (the man could charm anything, as well as fly anything). Not that you WERE beautiful. But...the way he looked down, as though trying to remember something. 

"I've heard your name before..." he said, half to you, half to himself. "And your voice..." He looked back up, seemingly realizing he was still holding your hand. "Sorry about that, it's just..." He shook his head. "Mind's been sort of...out of it since the end of..."

You studied his face. The medical team had worked wonders healing him after the final defeat of the First Order. Tiny, almost imperceptible scars were all you could see...then again, maybe you couldn't. Maybe you just imagined you could because you'd been the one...

"You look well," you said, for lack of anything else to say. 

"I don't feel it, sometimes," Poe said, with a sudden honesty that shocked you. "Why I had to get out here, just... needed to take a moment away from everyone." You nodded. 

You knew that Kylo Ren had captured Poe on Jakku and...not treated him well, for lack of a better term. And then Kylo had struck again, in the end. And you knew that Round Two had to have been worse. Confirmed to be worse when you'd found him...

"I remember."

Again, he'd interrupted your train of thought. The look on his face was...haunted. And a bit startling. 

"Just...bits and pieces but...I do remember you now," Poe said. You looked down and cleared your throat. 

"Yes, I was..." 

"A leaf on the wind."

Your head shot up, your mouth fallen open a bit. 

Yes, you'd been lucky enough to be the one to find Poe after Kylo had finished with him. Poe was mostly unconscious when you'd found him, and completely out by the time you'd managed to get him to your ship. Well...you'd thought he was completely out. 

"I thought you were--"

"I was. Mostly. I mean..." Poe pointed towards his head and made a face. "But...I mean, flying out of that hellhole...I've been there, I know it isn't easy. There was sometimes enough of a jolt that shook me enough to come around, only for a second."

The night had been a blur to you, too, but in a whole different way. Your focus was "get Poe out of there, get out alive, get away". Any other time, you wouldn't have believed yourself capable of singlehandedly carrying a large semi-muscular man out of the First Order's base to your tiny ship all on your own. Adrenaline was an amazing thing. 

After that came actually escaping. Fighting to get away from attackers into safe space, back to the Resistance. Flying and fighting and shooting at the First Order was just...instinct movements, struggling to survive, and always, under your breath, the same words to keep you calm...

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."

The words left Poe's lips. Not yours. Again, you looked at him. 

"I was sometimes...aware enough for just long enough in the ship..." he explained, as best he seemed to be able to explain. "You kept saying that over and over to yourself when you weren't talking to the Resistance. And...one time...not gonna lie, I actually thought we were done for, I remember something going off. And your hands...moved so fast, I think I'm a damn good pilot, but I've never seen someone react that quickly with such calm...and then..."

You were gobsmacked. Was Poe Dameron really showering you with praise like this?

"I may have imagined it but man, I hope I didn't because I will never forget..." Poe was smiling more to himself than you, but his eyes never left you. "You looked behind you as someone, maybe many someones, came up on your tail. And you reached for a switch, you smiled to yourself, and then you said...'All right...here's something you can't do.' And...we shot away." 

You knew that smile. That was the same smile of admiration that was usually given by others to him. There was no way...

"I didn't know your name and I thought I imagined your face but...I remembered your voice and your hands and your movements and..." He broke off. "I feel like I've learned all I know there is to being a pilot sometimes, I feel like I can fly anything...but I've never seen anything like that before. I admire you."

"But...you're Poe Dameron," you said before you could think about what you were saying. "I'm supposed to admire you and say that I'm your biggest fan or...whatever. Like, I'm a no one in the fleet compared to you."

"Well...you saved my life," he said, reaching out for your hand again. "I think it's safe to say I'm your biggest fan." You pulled your hand away, feeling even more awkward than before but a whole new kind of awkward. You were used to being the no one. You weren't used to people looking at you like...you were their whole world or something like that. 

"My cousin was a pilot," you said, as though trying to brush off all the praise. "Different galaxy from ours but...anyway, he taught me a bunch of tricks. Some lifesaving, some fancy...shiny, he called them. He told me...when I felt overwhelmed...to imagine myself as a leaf on the wind." 

"Would you mind teaching me those tricks sometime?" Poe asked. You laughed at the absurdity of the situation, mostly to keep yourself from crying. You hadn't thought about your cousin in years...you mostly kept thoughts of him to fleeting things. His death had been a few years ago, yes, and you hadn't been close for some time before that, and his wife had never really taken a shine to you...but it still hit your heart with a pang sometimes. 

"Only if you promise to be careful with them," you finally said. "And stay away from men in black masks. No one needs to find you like I did."

"That bad, huh?" He grimaced. 

"I...thought you were dead at first," you said. And before you could help yourself, you'd reached out for the expanse of skin next to and below his left eye. "I came in and I found you and your face was...just...covered with blood. I'd thought you'd lost your eye, I didn't know what he'd..."

Your words died on your lips as Poe reached up for your fingers and took them away from his face. Rather, away from his eye and to his lips. He pressed a kiss to your fingertips. He didn't let go for the longest time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


	7. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where you meet Rey on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, my precious cinnamon roll baby...
> 
> (I knew from the word go that this would involve "this much green in the whole galaxy).
> 
> Only one more character after this. You can probably guess who it'll be...

You walked out on to the balcony and were greeted with an increasingly familiar sight - Rey leaning against something, staring out. Sometimes into space, sometimes the sky, sometimes the sights below. 

"You never get enough of it, do you?" you asked her. She looked over her shoulder at you, smiling. 

"Never will," she said with a shrug. "After years on Jakku...You know, nothing but sand, sand, and more sand." She scrunched her nose up before looking out at the snow drifting down on the trees and greenery below. 

"Still can't believe there's this much green in the whole galaxy?" you asked, walking up to her and nudging her in the side. 

"Shut it," she said with a laugh. "Can't believe Finn told you that." In his defense, you'd asked him for everything there was to now about the girl from Jakku with three buns in her hair and a quarterstaff and Force sensitivity and the most piercing eyes...

You mentally shook your head. This was no time to daydream about your crush. Especially when your crush was right there in front of you, looking stunning in a long green dress...

"To be fair, I was talking about Maz's decorations," you said, gesturing back at the party. Rey rolled her eyes, but laughed. 

"True," she said.

"And your dress," you added. This promptly earned you a light punch in the arm. "Hey, I LIKE the dress. It's--"

"Green," she said, looking down and smoothing out ripples that weren't there. "And long. And..." She shifted. "I'd much rather be in my own kit."

"Well...you sort of are. I mean, in the sleeves."

One thing you'd noticed about Rey when you first saw her was how she was dressed. And how her shoulders were covered, and almost all of her arms wrapped in cloth, save for the very top. Even after she was given more clothing, multiple outfits, different colors and styles, that one element always remained. 

Why did she do that, anyway?

"Pardon?"

She was looking at you, brow creased. 

Oh. Had you asked that aloud?

"Nothing," you lied badly. "I was just..."

"I know, this dress...probably looks right silly on me--"

"No, no, not at all!" you insisted, a bit too quickly. "I was just...wondering about the arm thing." Rey frowned and looked down at her arms. "Like...it's always that one bit of you that isn't covered by sleeves or wraps. I was...curious. Like, doesn't that let ever get cold or sunburnt or scratched or...anything?"

"I've never really thought about it," she said, staring at the bared part of the tops of her arms. "I've just...always dressed that way. ...why, does it look silly or not right or...?"

"No," you said, reaching out to touch her arm, most of your fingers landing on the smooth green fabric, but one fingertip brushing her bare skin. You'd imagine that you'd heard her take in a breath at the touch of skin on skin...but that was just wishful thinking on your part. "And neither does this dress." You quickly tried to cover by running your fingers over the silky sleeve. "You look lovely."

"Well...shall I admit something?" Rey whispered leaning in towards you. "My first thought when Maz showed me the dress was...just that. I've never seen that much green in the whole galaxy."

The two of you looked at each other. And promptly burst into giggles. 

"Rey, you didn't!"

"I know, it's awful of me but..."

"Well...it looks much better on person than it does on the hanger, don't worry."

"Well, between this dress and the decorations inside..." Rey gestured towards the partygoers "Plus whatever bit of green is in your hand there, what is that...?"

Before you could ask, Rey had reached out and taken the forgotten-about mistletoe out of your other hand and was twirling it around between her fingers. 

"Pretty..." she said, smiling down at the sprig. "What is it?"

"Oh, BB-8 brought it up to me, worried that guests were going to eat it and poison themselves," you said, deliberately avoiding the real answer to the question. 

"Well, if it's supposed to be hanging up on the ceiling, why would BB worry about that?" Rey frowned. "Furthermore, if it IS a poisonous, why would Maz hang it up as decoration?"

You took a deep breath. Well...might as well tell her the full truth. 

"That plant is called mistletoe," you said. "Ever heard of it before?" Rey shook her head. 

"We barely saw living green things in Jakku, holiday or no holiday."

"Well...there's a tradition that goes with mistletoe," you continued, "that whoever you get caught with under the mistletoe...you have to kiss them."

Rey's fingers stopped twirling, and she stared long and hard at the plant. 

"So..." she said. "That's why Jess and Snap keep chasing Poe and Finn around demanding to see them kiss."

You laughed, in spite of how awkward you felt. 

"Boy, I missed out on some shenanigans before I got here," you said. Rey was smiling, eyes darting from the mistletoe to you back to the mistletoe back to you. She bit her lip. 

Oh, you were in trouble. 

"Well...it'd be a shame not to put a tradition to waste," Rey mused. "Especially a tradition that is new to me. So..." She held the mistletoe out to you. "Show me how it's done?"

She batted her eyes, the little minx actually batted her eyes at you. And that little smile and the way her nose crinkled...

...oh, how you wanted to give in. But hey. Two could play at this game. 

"You know, the kiss in question doesn't have to be a...traditional kiss," you said. "Especially since the mistletoe isn't even hanging over our heads. So..."

You walked towards her and, as you approached, took her extended hand. You bent her elbow and lowered your joined hands, both of your sets of fingers fiddling with the mistletoe. Her eyes remained on you, flickering down to your lips almost indiscernibly. 

After a long, deliberate, aching pause, you inched closer to her face...and then you moved your face away from hers. Instead of aiming for her mouth, you moved to the previously discussed bare expanse of the top of her arms. First, her left arm, then her right. And oh, how her skin, chilled from the air, warmed beneath the press of your lips, roughened from Jakku but still somehow soft, and you had to wonder if the rest of her was this rough and soft, cold and hot, so unfrustratingly contradictory...

...you had to wonder what her face read. You were almost afraid to pull away to look back up at her. Even after her teasing immediately prior to this, maybe she didn't actually...

...and then her fingers were nudging against your cheek, pushing your lips away from her arm, towards her. It was enough for the whole of her palm to cover the side of your face and gently push it back up towards her. 

"I...thank you," she said, her eyes shining. And you were afraid she may cry, for a split second. Then she blinked. She smiled. And then she smirked. "But...I think I'd like to try the traditional tradition." 

Before you could react further, her free arm and tucked around your waist, pulling you even closer, and then her lips were on yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


	8. Kylo/Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where Kylo/Ben is on the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, here's the "I am Kylo Ren/Ben Solo trash" chapter. (And no, that's not slash of two different Adam Drivers. Other authors can give you that.)
> 
> Like everything I write, I'm not happy with the ending. But I've had a decent amount of fun writing these little mistletoe ficlets. And I hope people have had fun reading them.

You stepped on to the balcony and closed the door behind you. And at first, you wondered why Maz had sent you out here, because you didn't see anyone. 

And then, after a minute of looking, you saw him. Huddled away in the darkest corner of the balcony. Dressed all in black, as usual. Face turned away, hiding the scar and (you guessed) tears he didn't want anyone to see. 

"Kylo?"

No movement from him. No acknowledgment that he'd heard you at all. You tried again. 

"Ben?"

Still nothing. 

"Sorry, I still don't know which you'd prefer to go by now," you said, attempting to lighten the mood or get any sort of reaction out of him. You walked over and sat next to him. Not even that roused him from whatever thoughts were running through his head (though you had an idea). "Want me to compromise and call you Kylo Ben?" Nothing. You nudged his shoulder with yours. Still nothing. "Kylo? Ben? Kylo Ben?" 

It was only when you reached up towards his face that he finally did something. That something being reaching out to grip your wrist tight. But you knew Ben. You knew Kylo. You'd anticipated that and caught his hand with yours before he could grab you. That, in turn, resulted in him turning to (finally) look at you. 

His teeth were clenched and his brows were furrowed into that death glare those who feared him knew too well. But you knew him better. And you could see behind that fire in his eyes lay frustration. 

"Everyone kept staring," he said after a long while, turning his head....not over his other shoulder like before, but straight. Staring at the ground, his boots, down into nothing. 

"Staring how?" you asked, squeezing his hand, partly to match how his fingers had tightened around your own. 

"...just...horror at this." He'd practically spat out "this" as he pointed to the scar Rey had given him at Starkiller Base - starting at his forehead, running down the bridge of his nose across to the right side of his face. Not as angry of a red as it first was, but still... "And...hate. Because of...what I did...who I am..." 

The war was over. Even before it had ended, Kylo...Ben...had been brought back to the Light Side. Through no small amount of pain, physical and mental. And a final battle with Snoke that, for all intents and purposes, he should not have survived. But he did. And even after all parties had been dissolved, there were still some - both Light and Dark who would not accept him. 

"Pity."

"Hmm?"

"Some actually...I can pity written all over their faces and I hate it," he spat. " I don't want to be pitied."

You could feel him start to tremble, and you turned your head to look at him. His lips were pressed together, his eyes clenched shut, as though not to cry. 

And you knew the pity didn't stem just from the sight of the scar. 

"There are a lot of people who care about your mother just as much as you do," you said, adjusting your hands to lace your fingers with his. He shook his head. 

A couple of nights before, Leia had fallen suddenly, dangerously ill. She was whisked away to medical quickly, her brother by her side. Her son watching from a distance, you suspected, too ashamed to get closer. 

"Don't you dare, Ben Solo," you said fiercely. "Don't you dare blame yourself. You are not responsible for your mother's condition. No one saw it coming."

"But I should have!"

"How? Is that how The Force works?"

"...after Han...I weakened her."

His voice was breaking as he spoke

"You did not," you insisted. "This is not your fault. She wouldn't blame you or say it's your fault because it isn't, Ben."

"Then why do I feel like it is?"

"Because ever since you were five years old, you've blamed yourself for every bad thing that happened to you and the ones you love."

It was blunt. Possibly uncalled for. And it seemed to snap him out of the downward spiral of his thoughts long enough for him to give you an incredulous look. 

"I know you," you said. "You blamed yourself for every time either of us got hurt when sparring. You blamed yourself when eleven-year-old you had to have your appendix removed because you were stuck in the hospital and weren't able to come to my voice recital. And you blamed yourself for your ship breaking down seven Christmases ago because it meant you couldn't spend the holidays with me."

With your free hand, you reached up to touch his cheek, running your thumb under his eye, fingertip brushing against the scar. 

"I know you. I know you blame yourself for everything. And...this is not your fault."

There were things he'd done under Snoke's thumb. You knew some of those things had been unspeakable and indefensible. If he blamed himself for those things...

...but this...his mother...the smaller inconsequential things...

His eyes flickered to where your thumb was tracing his scar. He seemed to be studying your eyes...looking for any trace of what everyone else had been staring at him with...horror, hate, pity...

You leaned forward and kissed him. Underneath his eye. On his right cheek. Right where the scar was. 

If he couldn't see the love reflected in your eyes, you would show him. 

You moved to kiss further down his scar when he moved his head. He pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, allowing a few stray tears to fall. You wiped them away and remained close to him. And you hoped, you really hoped, he can do feel your love...

"I know," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


End file.
